QUALITY OF LIFE DEPENDS UPON THE QUALITY OF QUESTIONS YOU ASK

We have all heard that human brain is a powerhouse and most of us have witness people performing extraordinary acts simply by making best use of their brains. We may not want to perform extraordinary feasts with the help of our brain but we definitely want to meet the daily challenges of our life more gracefully. Though there are various ways and methods that an individual adopts to face his/her unique situation in this article we shall throw some light on the role that questions play in our life and we shall also share with our readers some questions that they can ask themselves or others to enhance the quality of their life and the life of people around them. 

Questions are like software commands, like our computer responds to the commands made to it likewise our brain is our servant and responds to the commands that we give to it. However many people are unaware of the fact that they are constantly commanding their brains and on most occasions they give a dis-empowering command and get a dis-empowering response. For example - when we are in a difficult situation, we mostly ask ourselves - 'WHY ME?' and the brain responds to it and brings out the answers. Most probable answers to this question are - 'because I screwed up things', 'because I am not good enough', 'because I am paying for my Karmas', etc. Or sometimes we ask, 'Why is he/she always bad to me?' or 'Why is he/she so misbehaving/irritating' and we get answers to the same and we start labelling the other person and put forth our focus on the weakness of the other person rather than focusing on our own life. We empower the other person to take charge of our life. 

Imagine if instead of 'WHY ME?' we ask ourselves 'How can i become a HERO in this situation?' or instead of 'Why is he/she so irritating?' we ask 'What can i learn from this situation so that it never happens again?' The fact is that we will always get the answer to whatsoever we ask our brain. As said previously - 'Questions are commands to our brain which is our slave - not a master'. We are always masters of our brain and our brain always responds to our commands. But we need to understand our servant in a better way to make optimum use of it. 

Here are some sample questions that you can ask to your self to enhance the quality of your life: 

1. Questions to enhance self esteem 

• What is great about my existence?
• What are my unique qualities?
• What do I love the most about myself?
• What is great about my life?
• What are the heroic things that I have done in my life?
• What are my most empowering belief systems?
• What compliments do I get from people?
• What experience do people get from me?
• How can I make best use of my talents?

2. Problem solving questions

• What is great about this problem?
• What can I learn from this problem so that it never happens again?
• How can I make best use of my talents to solve this?
• How can I act as a hero in this situation?
• What are the things that I can change and what is it that I cannot change?
• Who is my best support in this situation?
• What can I do to gather all the resources and support to solve this problem?
• What is not perfect as yet?
• How can I enjoy the problem solving process?

3. Questions to set a vision of life?

• What can be the purpose of my life?
• What is it that I love to do in my work/personal life?
• If I had unlimited resources and time what will I do?
• What is life asking me? 
• What is it that my conscience keeps on telling me even if I barely listen or ignore it?
• If I say yes to all that my inner conscience tells me what kind of person will I be and what will I do differently from what I am doing now?
• What will be my quality of life if I live a meaningful life?
• How will a meaningful life enhance/decrease my happiness quotient?
• What is the effect of contributions to the quality of my life?

Here are some sample questions which you can ask your self to see and experience the difference they make to your life. In the end we will again like to repeat that questions are commands to which human brain always responds and you will always get answers to the questions you ask to yourself. We will strongly encourage you to ask good quality questions and invent your own unique questions to enhance the quality of your life. Thanks for reading the article. If you come across a unique question please mention it in the comment box below the article. Thanks again for reading the article and we salute the divine being within you. 

Salutations to the Educators

The much talked about word education has its root in latin - 'edu' + 'cos' which means to bring out the best from within. 'To bring out the best from within the individuals is the moto of Tvam' and we salute the dedicated teachers and educators from across the globe who are inspiring, encouraging and motivating the young minds.

To be a teacher is challenging and not very rewarding in terms of finances. However, Warren Buffet - world's second richest man paid a special tribute to the teachers. This is what he said.

'I haven't met a single teacher in my life who came into this profession because of his passion and has had regrets at the end of his life that he didn't make enough money'.

Some reflections from Ashtavakra Geeta

Ashtavkra Geeta is also known as Maha(great) geeta by the many people is a conversation between one of the great King Janak and a seer Ashtavkra(a man with 8 curves on his body).

The background of this conversation

King Janak had organised a debate on 'Nature of the truth' in his kingdom and had invited wise men from different parts of India. The winner was supposed to get a great prize in cash and kind. In the final stage of the debate Ashtavakra's father was confronting another wise man. Out of curiosity and desire to support his father Ashtavakra went to the court. Ashtavakra had 8 curves on his body and as he entered the court almost everyone laughed at him as he walked past them in an awkward way. Even after hearing their laughter Ashtavakra remained calmed and when everybody stopped laughing Ashtavakra started laughing back at all the courtiers. King Janaka was taken by surprise after seeing Ashtavakra laughing, the king asked him, 'I can understand why these people are laughing at you but I cannot understand why are you laughing at them?'. Ashtavakra replied to the king Janak, 'Oh! King I am laughing because I can see the assembly of chamars(scavengers) are debating on the nature of truth; look at me I am the 'Unique one, the beautiful one, the majestic one, the magnificent one and all that the courtiers can see is my body' this is what makes me laugh oh! king. 'Jo chamri tak seemit, vahi hai chamar', 'the one who is confined to the skin is the real scavenger'. The king was astounded by the answer of Ashtavakra and accepted him as his guru. Ashtavkra was a teenage boy at that time.

King Janak being taught by Ashtavakra

According to most Indian philosophers - 'Ashtavakra Samhita is the zenith of thought', they say that the thought cannot go beyond this to explain the truth of the existence. If truth be the sun then reading other scriptures is like seeing the sun through some filter but reading Ashtavakra Samhita is like seeing the sun directly. Here are some reflections from this great scripture. Hope it will be helpful.

You are neither earth, not water, nor fire, nor air, nor space. You are the witness of all these.

 You do not belong to the Brahmins or any other caste or to any other asrama. You are not perceived by the senses. Unattached, formless, and witness of all are you. Full of bliss and blessedness and happiness. 

Virtue or vice, pleasure or pain, are of the mind, not of you, O all pervading one. You are neither doer nor the one who enjoys. Verily, you are free.

He who considers himself free is free indeed, and he who considers himself bound remains bound. 'As one thinks, so one becomes' is a popular saying in this world and it is quite true.

You are unattached, non doer, self effulgent, and without any blemish. This indeed is your bondage that you practice meditation.*

*The self is really free. Yet we betake ourselves to mediation and other similar practices. Such attempts presuppose that we think ourselves bound, and so long as we continue to think ourselves bound, we remain bound and freedom is impossible. Astavakra wants us to give up this thought altogether. For, as he has said previously, one who considers himself free is free indeed, as surely as one who looks upon himself as bound remains bound.

Just as mirror exists within and without the image reflected in it, so the Supreme Self exists inside and outside the body.*

*The idea is this: the image in the mirror has no real existence. It is a mere appearance. Only the mirror exists. Similarly, only the self exists. Body and mind have no real existence. It is only by being superimposed on the Self that they appear to exist. Just as the reflection cannot affect the mirror, so body, mind, etc. cannot affect the Self.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mental Health - highlights of the group discussion

Whether you are a grown up or a child, a student or a parent, a home maker or a working woman, bachelor or married, there is so much that happens between the space between two ears and there is so less that we do to take care of our most important part called brain. To create more awareness about this less talked about but important aspect of our life we organised a group discussion on 17.06.2017 in the pristine environment of forest hill apartment near Rajaji national park, Dehradun. Here are some important points that emerged after the useful discussion. 

Mental health is : 

• The way we react to situations

•  How we think 

• Till what extent do we think about an issue or a topic or a situation

• Mental health is, 'knowing what is right and what is wrong'

•  Mental health is, 'to be able to take a stand for the right thing in spite of any kind of negative influence' 

• Mental health is also about our habits 

How can we know if an individual(myself included)is mentally healthy or not?

• We can know this by our behaviour. If an individual's behaviour tends to mostly hurt people around him/her then he/she doesn't have a sound mental health. 

• Clarity about rights and wrongs - 'If an individual is not have clear set of rights and wrongs then he/she is not in a sound mental health, because rights and wrongs determine our decisions and actions.' 

• Good body language is also an important aspect of sound mental health. 

• If I am creating less problems to most people then I am having good mental health

• If I do not get influenced by other people to do wrong things 

• When I am able to think with a cool mind

• When I am clear about what is right and what is wrong

 The price that we pay by not taking care of our mental health

• We hurt others

• Loose relationships 

• Unable to work to our potential

• Loose peace of mind

• Social isolation

• Loose our identity by getting mixed up in the crowd and by following them blindly(this happens when we do not have a clear sense of right and wrong worked out our self) 

• We restrict our self(for example - one participant said that he has restricted himself to talk to other girls after facing a breakup) 

• Disappoint our self and others.

Factors affecting mental health  

• Environment

• Friends and family 

• Quality of relationships 

• Quality of education

• Certain incidents/situations

• Religion

• Conditioning 

• Pressure

• Trauma 

• Society

• Media

• Internet

• Attraction towards opposite sex

• Physical injury

• Prolonged illness

• Financial crisis 

• Meeting new people 

• Exploring new places

• Upbringing

Most important factor influencing our mental health

• Upbringing 

• Education and environment

• Quality of relationships

The group also discussed about people who in spite of having non congenial environment and prolonged illness display sound mental health. What is it that makes is possible is still to be discussed. 

Thanks for reading this article, inputs and ideas from the readers end will be highly appreciable. We at Tvam provide Non Directive Counselling Therapy, Mediation, Healing, Yoga courses, Life Coaching and other services to foster sound mental health in individuals and organisations. For more details please visit : 

www.tvamindia.com

You can even connect with us through our helpline no - +9690341595; whats app no - +919897763698

About life coaches and what they do

Who is a Life Coach?

A life coach is a man like you and me, a life coach is a man with feelings and emotions like you and me. She too feels happy and sad, like a normal human being will. However, most life coaches have learnt to accept their feelings. Most of them have learnt to really accept themselves as they are and they are the people who have also learnt to love themselves, at the same time they are also the people with a strong resilience to change themselves - though it may sound like a paradox but the person who loves himself deeply enough is the one who brings about a profound change in his/her life.

Most life coaches work on the principle that they are the masters of their destiny. Whatever is going to happen in life is based on their decisions. They work on the principle that, 'Life is not about conditions, it is about decisions'. At the same time they also know the simple fact that they can control their decisions but not the after affects of it.

For most life coaches, their mind is precious and they pay special attention to it. Which means they are mindful of what goes inside their minds, they are mindful of what they are watching in the television, they are even mindful of the words that people use in their day to day conversation. If you are with a good life coach, she will smilingly point to a word that you use and how even a single word is affecting the climate of your mind and how by replacing this word you can positively change your inner and outer environment.

Most life coaches, are self directive. This means that most life coaches do not give advices. A life coach is convinced about the fact that he can only control his/her life. Life of others is not in his/her hand. Another thing that a life coach knows is that advices do not work, because every individual and his/her situations are unique. The job of a life coach is to empower and not to disempower ; by giving advice he can disempower his coachee hence he avoids it. One more reason why life coaches do not give advice is because they believe in the innate potential of a human being; a life coach will believe in you, he knows that, 'you have the best answers to all your problems'.

Most life coaches work hard on improving the quality of their lives. Since most life coaches realise the importance of their work, they do not indulge in over drinking, eating, etc. Most life coaches showcase a balanced life or diligently strive for it. Life coaches are not perfect human beings but they are the people who believe in themselves and believe in every human being that comes to them. The beautiful profession of life coaching helps them to be mindful of their thoughts and the thoughts of people with whom they interact.

No one comes to the profession of life coaching just like that, mostly, there is an inner calling and most life coaches are people who have answered this inner calling

 What life coaches do?

For thousands of years most people believed that, 'it was impossible for them to run the mile in less than four minutes. But in 1954, Roger Bannister broke this belief by doing what seemed impossible. It had seemed no one would ever be able to break a four minute mile, yet within one year of Roger's breaking the barrier, 37 other runners also broke it. And year after that 300 runners did the same.

We are what we think

-Buddha

The age old saying is a statement of fact verified so many thinkers. It is our beliefs that shape us, it is our beliefs that produce the results - whether wanted or unwanted. Millions of people around the globe suffer from physical and mental pains and yet there are few amongst us, aye! the few amongst us which are able to alleviate themselves from the relative existence of this world and are above the quagmire of the world in which we live. How? Simply by their belief, because they think that they can.

'History of this world is the story of few men and women who had belief in themselves'.

- Swami Vivekananda

Have you ever been able to stop yourself for a while and think and reflect about your life and have been able to deeply introspect about your own motives and about where you are heading to in your life? If you are answer is yes then you can congratulate yourself, because most of us do not even stop for a while in life to really question our motives and identify where are we taking our life. As a matter of fact, it is not the life that takes us, it is we, 'our decisions that take our life'.  If after reading the above statement you are relenting about your past decisions then I would like to say that relenting too is a decision, it is a decision that will further strengthen the grip of the quicksand from which you want to come out.

Here are few important things that life coaches do

1. They believe in you

Entire profession of life coaching is based on the fact that human beings have infinite potential. Unfortunately, most of us have come from background where most of our great beliefs were doubted. Doubt, interruption, interference, criticism are the best recipe to kill a potent belief that can change the world. A life coach believes you. He believes that you are great, he believes that you are unique and you have your own unique talents to make a positive impact on our world. There is only one thing that a life coach will not believe in, i.e. if you go to him/her and tell him that you are good for nothing or if you tell him/her that you are a mediocre.

2. They educate you in true sense

Life coaches are educators in true sense. The word education comes from the Latin word edu which means, 'to draw out' and cos, which means, 'the best'. Thus the real meaning of education is 'to draw out the best from within'. This is exactly what life coaches do. They bring out the best from within you. Haven't experiences as yet? well you may like to give it a try.

3. They challenge your thoughts

Life coaches are professionals who are trained to identify ineffective or disempowering thoughts that you may use in your day to day life. Most of these thoughts are used by us, unconsciously. A good life coach will bring these thoughts to your consciousness and then challenge you and make you aware about the effects of these thoughts. It is the most exciting work that most life coaches do because ultimately it is our thoughts that shape our lives.

4. They stretch you

Life coaches believe in your innate potential and do not hesitate in making you uncomfortable for your betterment.

There are many other things that life coaches do, but perhaps it can be too detailed.

Meeting a life coach and participating in a life coaching process can be a very rewarding and enriching experience. If you think you are spending money while meeting a life coach then do re consider your thought because visiting a life coach is an investment and it can be one of the best investment of your life. As it is said by someone that, 'unresolved thoughts and feelings are worst than cancer' and the great ancient philosopher Socrates has but it so beautifully that , "An un examined life is not worth living".

Thank you for reading the article. Kindly accept my reverence to the divinity within you.